Life is good

Well....there's no real need to go into nasty details...let's just say there have been a LOT (and I mean a whole heck of a lot) of ups and DOWNS the last...oh....I'd say four years!!!!

HOWEVER...I am pleased to say, that I am now, with out a doubt, the happiest and most content I have ever been. Great isn't it?? Now, I know that is quite a big statement to put down in writing, but it's honestly how I feel. After a slew of unhealthy relationships with men, (or shall I say boys), leading to more unhealthy/broken relationships with friends and family, OH, and two beautiful, wonderful children later...I am now single and... (here's the kicker) HAPPY! Yay for me. Seriously, yay for me! Be excited people, this is big news!!

It's like I have been brought back to life, revived, breathing fresh air again... Now that all the "garbage" has been removed from my life I am finally getting a chance to be me again. Loving the Lord and loving my children with no distractions or interruptions. Yes, I'm extremely busy...working full time and going to school, but it's with a purpose, a purpose to provide for my children and be the best mom I can be. But these are distractions I can deal with; these are healthy distractions, and they make me feel accomplished. I like being busy, having a full schedule, but there are also times when I feel completely and utterly exhausted, like now for instance ;)

Let me fill you in...I have always hated that I was a "drop out." (haha) It just kind of bothered me that I never went back to school after getting pregnant with Reese, but I never really knew what I wanted to do. Until the last year or so when I really discovered how much I enjoyed interior design. So that's what I am currently going to school for; interior decorating to be more specific. I take all online courses which is super awesome and super convenient, however this also makes it super easy to slack :( (WOW. That was a lot of supers, sorry bout that.)

Moving on...Being a "single mom" (I despise this term) is hard at times; but it is SO rewarding. Sometimes I really regret being such a BIG idiot, duh, everyone would regret that, and making so many stupid mistakes for so long. But I also can't imagine not being a mother, not having my Roo and Loo in my life, the 2 kids I love more than life itself. If you're a parent you understand what I'm saying. There is something different about loving your own flesh and blood; it's different than any kind of love I've ever experienced. It's quite simply, amazing. I feel like motherhood is my destiny, among other things I hope. But don't get me wrong, there are also days when I ask the Lord if it's all a big mistake, sometimes I feel like kids just aren't for me, I'm so impatient and unorganized, the epitome of what a good mom should NOT be. But then I see their faces, oh their faces.....they make me smile. They make my heart happy. They make everything better.

So, here I am...waiting for the next season to begin. I don't mean season as in the weather haha (I am soooo NOT funny right now) I mean season of life. I am content doing what I'm doing, and trying to accomplish the goals I have set for my life right now (I hear exam #4 calling my name....ugh.) It's good tho. Life is good. School is good. Kids are good. Family is good. Friends are good. God is good. Can I get an AMEN??!! Amen. Life is good.

lyss

PS. I apologize that this blog was so erratic and "blonde-ish" but it's late and I had a lot on my mind, so just go with it!

PPS. I thought it would be appropriate to post of picture of me being "happy." But I don't have any happy pictures of just myself, so here's a picture of me being happy with my kid. =) Now you see where he gets his big, very pinchable cheeks from!